Kids say the craziest things

I teach English in Japan, and many of my students are children. They can be a lot of fun, or they can be very frustrating at times. But they can also say some of the funniest things in English. Here is a sample:

“I am garbage!” was randomly said by a boy.

When being told about “Be quiet, please,” a girl said “Shut up, please.”

One kid has a fascination with bodily functions. We were talking about ice cream flavours he liked, and he said “I like doodoo ice cream.”

When spelling out 6, many kids will say “s-e-x.” I wouldn’t be surprised if the knew what they were saying.

One girl keeps accidentally saying “block scissors paper.”

I was drawing a family tree on the board to talk about family members, when a girl drew a heart between my sister and I, then said “Jay Dee loves sister? Love love!”

When I ask if the kids can guess my age, many say 25-30, but one said 50. I’m 35, by the way. Most think I’m younger than I am.

And one more. A kid proudly exclaimed to me, “I am Japan!” The other kids burst out laughing.

If you teach kids, what are some of the funniest things they’ve said to you?

4 Comments

Filed under Humour, Teaching

4 responses to “Kids say the craziest things

  1. This takes me back to my teaching in Japan days! Kids really do say the funniest things. Once I had this naughty little princess girl in my class and I had just told her off (she was about 6 or 7, and such a brat). I leaned over her desk trying to look a bit scary and she said, “Teacher… big eyes!”. “Yes,” I said. “I have big eyes.” “Teacher,” she said, “…big nose”. Slightly offended, but pleased she had learnt some vocabulary, I reluctantly agreed, “Yes, I have a big nose.” “Teacher,” she said, “…big… oppai!” I knew what she had said, but I was supposed to keep up this pretence of not understanding Japanese, so I could only respond, “No Japanese!” LOL!😉

  2. Hhaha😄
    I could add quite a few funny things to that, too!
    I’ve been teaching kids for a very long time here in Japan now and they really say the weirdest things!😀

    Random: Did you know that in German we actually pronounce the word “six” as “sex” (spelling: sechs)??
    When I first came to Japan, some German still came out of my mouth without me realizing it – and I’m sure that I said “sex” when counting a few times! *gg*

    • I had no idea about that. I know almost nothing of German, although I’d like to learn in the future. My grandfather was German, though born in Russia, so he didn’t speak German. I’ll be sure not to say “sechs” when counting.

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